im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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