Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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