STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
