hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
