youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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