whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
