So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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