i just google imaged poop.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
