I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
