Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
