last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
