here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If I die, sorry about rent.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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