Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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