thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
