I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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