Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
