Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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