Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
