4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
