the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
