brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
