sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
