I must be too annoying 4 u.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
