I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I hope mine doesn't look like that
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
