i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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