So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
