I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
