So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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