And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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