I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
