i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
