things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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