I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
