I'm eating all of the evidence.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
