Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My nipple is on Facebook.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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