I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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