Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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