I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
