im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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