I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Houston, we have a blender
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
