if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
