considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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