ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
