I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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