Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
