Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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