its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
