my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
