Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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