No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
