She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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