I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
