I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
